Random Dumb Deaths

 - A young Canadian man searching for a way to get drunk cheaply mixed gasoline and milk.  Not surprisingly this tasty mix caused him to vomit into the fire place.  The resulting explosion and fire killed both him and his sister.

 - A 30 year old man found dead in his basement died of suffocation.  He was wearing a skirt, bra, black and white shoes and a woman's wig.  He was also wearing a gas mask with a hose attached.  The other end of the hose was connected to a hollow wooden post approx 13 inches long and 3 inches in diameter.  The other end of the post was inserted into his rear end for reasons unknown and was the cause of his suffocation.  Police found explaining this to his family "very awkward".

 - In Detroit a 41 year old man got stuck and drowned in 50cm of water after squeezing through a 30cm sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.  A prime example of someone who slipped onto the gene pool while the lifeguard wasn't looking.

 - A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites.  "Very sad" you're thinking, but so?  Turns out playing rattlesnake catch is one of those games that tend to end badly.  The other idiot was hospitalised, but survived.

 - A concerned zookeeper in Paderborn, Germany, fed his constipated elephant, Stefan, 22 doses of animal laxatives and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes.  Unfortunately it was as he was attempting to give the bunged up patient an olive oil enema that all hell broke loose, and our caring keeper was suffocated under 100kg of pachyderm poop.  I bet his kids tell their friends he was eaten by a lion


---Sally