Random Translations

- In a Belgrade hotel elevator:  To move cabin, push button for wishing floor.  If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor.  Driving is then going alphabetically by national order.

- In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:  Not to perambulate the corridors during the hours of repose in the boots of Ascension.

- In a Japanese hotel:  You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

- On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:  Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.

- On the menu of a Polish hotel:  Salad a firms own make, limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumpling in the form of a finger, roasted duck let loose, beef rashers beaten up in the country people's fashion.


---Sally

Random Animals

- The common Wombat(Vombatus Ursinus) produces six-sided cubic poos.  Far superior to your average poo as you can stack them up to mark territory and they don't fall over.  Sort of like homemade lego I guess.

- The worlds' smartest bird is the New Caledonian Crow.  Captive birds were shown how to drop stones into a glass cylinder and were then shown the same cylinder again with food floating halfway up.  Not only did they work out that dropping stones in would raise the water level, they only chose the largest stones.  Could use this as an IQ test for politicians, weed out dumb from dumber.

- A pigs' orgasm lasts 30 minutes.  Makes the idea of reincarnation strangely attractive.  Although I guess it only works with other pigs?  Oh well.  Thirty minute orgasms.  Who cares?

- A crocodile cannot stick its' tongue out.  At least now you know it's not going to lick you to see how you taste before it eats you.

- However, butterflies taste with their feet.  Always thought they were creepy little bastards.  All pretty and fluttery.  Next time one lands on your finger just remember what it's doing and  be grateful you obviously taste like shit or else it would be straight for your jugular!

- Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.  Well that's got to be a good thing?!


---Sally